Mark Nutter

Music & Lyrics

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If I'd Deleted My Spam

AND NOW, IN THE AUTUMN OF MY YEARS
I WONDER AT THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
AND THE DREAMS I'VE FORSAKEN.
WHAT OF THIS TAPESTRY OF LIFE THAT I WEAVED?
WOULD IT BE DIFFERENT
HAD I NOT ANSWERED EVERY E-MAIL I RECEIVED?

E-MAIL FILLED MY BOX.
IT WAS IMPRESSIVE.
I REFINANCED FIVE-HUNDRED TIMES.
WAS THAT EXCESSIVE?
WOULD IT ALL SEEM A SCAM
IF I'D DELETED MY SPAM?

AND THOSE COLLEGE GIRLS
WHO SHOWED THEIR ASSES.
WITHOUT MY AID, WHO'D HAVE PAID
FOR THEIR CLASSES?
WHO'D HAVE WATCHED THEIR WEB-CAM
IF I'D DELETED MY SPAM?

I SUPPOSE I'D STILL TAKE VALIUM, VIAGRA, XANAX, DARVOCET, PHENTERMINE
AND SO MANY MORE.
BUT WOULD THEY STILL BE DELIVERED OVERNIGHT
STRAIGHT TO MY DOOR?

AND MY RUSSIAN BRIDE
WOULD THEY DEPORT HER?
WOULD MY PENIS BE ONE TO THREE INCHES SHORTER?
WOULD MY WIFE GIVE A DAMN
IF I'D DELETED MY SPAM.

NO, NO, NO...
NO, IT'S ALL BEEN GOOD, IN MY OPINION.
ONE MAN'S SPAM IS ANOTHER MAN'S FILET MIGNON.
AND I AM THAT MAN, THE MAN WITH THE STEAK.
THE MAN WITH SEVEN SEPTIC TANKS, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
I'M THE MAN THAT I AM
BECAUSE I ANSWERED
YES, I ANSWERED MY SPAM.

All songs copyright Mark Nutter,
©Mark Nutter Music

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If I'd Deleted My Spam
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