Mark Nutter

Music & Lyrics

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Corny Old Guy

I'm just a corny old guy
Whaddya want from me?
No one likes a good time more than me
I'm just a corny old guy
All of my friends are dead
Pull my finger - hey, how about that?

Feels like someone's sticking a red hot nail in my knee
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Jew walk in a bar
Christ, it hurts when I pee

And if there's one thing I learned
Everyone, everywhere is basically the same
Except for Koreans

My wife of fifty-one years is dead
Don't really miss her much
Oh hell, what's the point in getting weepy?
Say, there's a thing in your ear
Hey, it's a quarter
I sure wish I had Bill Gates's money

She was the only woman who understood me
We met one evening way back when at the Aragon Ballroom
She used to make Great Northern bean soup with a ham bone
She used to talk and talk and talk about her violets
I can't eat lettuce anymore, it gives me diarrhea

Sometimes I'm hurting so bad, I wanna kill myself
Check out the caboose on that honey
Check out that caboose
That's some caboose...


 

All songs copyright Mark Nutter,
©Mark Nutter Music

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Corny Old Guy - MP3 Sample